I have a vision board – I made it to help me visualise my goals.
I’m not real good at goal setting – so it was going to be the “thing” that got my goals in the forefront of my mind.
I have a vision board – that now is behind stuff in the wardrobe.
I’m not real good at goal setting – maybe I’m too scared I’ll fail if i have to face it every day.
I have a vision board ….
I’m not real good at goal setting.
OK – this is less of a writing event today and more of a vent …. so please feel free to move on to the next happy blogger – i wont be offended 🙂
I THINK IT IS ABSURD the way you carry on
Do you have ANY idea how us that surround you are beginning to feel, we try hard to make you feel part of everything that goes on, but you drag us all down. Today was the last straw for me, how embarrassing to watch you react like that AND to ruin an afternoon I had planned for weeks …
you need to let your fucking kids deal with things themselves, geez, they are ADULTS now and you should leave them the fuck alone and let them deal with their own mistakes – it is ABSURD the way you baby them …. he is TWENTY TWO YEARS OLD ….. and you’re no better with your daughter, who is old enough to know better, if you could only see how they use you – and will continue to play on you as long as you let them
STOP BEING SO ABSURD – stop making mountains out of fucking molehills – well you don’t have molehills do you -they are all MOUNTAINS that you turn into …. well ALPS …..
you are soooooooooooooooo fucking draining to be around – LIFE IS GOOD – yes …. we all have bad days ….. yes we all have things that go wrong – but MOVE ON …. LIFE IS GOOD and the more you continue to say that your life sucks and nothing goes right for you …. well guess what – the universe gives you what you want … so STOP BEING SO ABSURD and think positive – do you realise you drag us all down – and we don’t want that – we have enough shit in our own lives and we don’t carry on like you do – if you knew half the things that were going on in my life … but NO I wouldn’t be so ABSURD to think that you’d even care – or that my issues could be anything near as bad as yours
and to finish my rant – HOW DARE YOU – apologise to me – and expect me to say “its OK” when it is NOT and then get huffy with me because i don’t say it …. HOW FUCKING ABSURD
ok
rant over – i really needed to say all that today
it is going to be one of those subjects where everyone has their own distinct views …..
– i believe in soulmates
– i believe you can have more than one soulmate
– i believe once you have connected with a soulmate – you will always have that connection
– i believe soulmates come in “both sexes”
– i believe i have met three of mine ….. one of which are my life partner
When i met Lesley online, there was something i can just not explain, something that pulled me to him in a way i’d never experienced before. i was married, so was trying to ignore what was going on in my heart and my head. But after a while – i just ‘knew’ that i had to be with this person. So i left my husband, left my family and went to him – and the connection was amazing. i wish i was a better writer, so that i could write the words to express my connection with this man, how my eyes opened wide when he walked into a room, how my heart jumped if he came close to me, how our journey was meant to be together at that point in time.
we were together a few short weeks, and then ….. well i wont go into details … but lets just say the universe didn’t want us to be together. so things changed quicker than a blink and i felt so empty inside .. because of the connection we had … i didn’t know how i would ever go on without him …. ever …. again if i had the words to write about the hole in my heart the blankness of my mind ….
but my husband was there to pick me up and put me back on my feet, we reunited and moved forward, he knew … i was very clear with him, that my connection was still there to Lesley and i couldn’t imagine it not ever being there. it became just a natural part of our life … that it was something that happened and we didn’t hide it or not talk about it … there was not a lot of contact, and over the past 10 years it has become nothing – BUT – Lesley is still my soulmate – things remind me of him, thinking of certain things make me smile, in fact – every time i write i think of him, as he was the one who encouraged me, i wrote some amazing poetry after he left (well i think so lol !! PS – please don’t judge the post before this as my poetry lol ) he was my muse, i wonder if his life ever settled down, wether the demons that plagued him were ever quietened .. i wonder how i would feel if i got the chance to see him again.
he truly was my first experience of a soulmate – and the joy i felt with him … just amazing
a few years later i met Mel, i was attracted to her on a friendship level, and ‘almost’ physically as well – now this blew my mind a little … as was way out of my comfort zone. As our friendship grew, i didn’t realise it right at the time – but the connection and the attraction was part of her being my soulmate – we are connected – again in a way that i find hard to put into words. we spent a lot of time together in a short space of time … but again … the universe didn’t want us to be together and she moved to another state. I didn’t cope very well, i couldnt’ call her without crying for days afterwards, there was a gap in my soul …….
but about 6 months later … i rang her … and it was just like we had never left …. we finished conversations started 6 months ago …. it was then it ‘clicked’ we too were soulmates. she is an amazing woman, an amazing friend and i can not imagine not having her in my life. we still don’t talk every week, or even every month, but we know when the chips are down, we are there for each other – and we usually ‘feel’ it – and know its time to ring …..
my husband is also my soulmate – this is such a different connection though. this is a mix of the above two – with the addition of a comfort level that makes my soul rest easy. i know that having him by my side for the rest of my life is what the universe has in store. he is the father of my children, the man who can make me laugh, the man who makes me so fucking angry, the man who would do anything for me, the man who i want to make happy more than anything in the word
my love – my life – my soulmate
tomorrow – we will have been married 25 years – more than half my life ….. now that is ‘connection’
sometimes secretly wish i could meet another …. as the way my heart and soul feels when i make that connection ……is …… AMAZING
~Kathryn~
oh my goodness – a much more open post than i orginally thought of writing …. but i sit here now smiling … happy that i have been able to put these words down to share with the ‘world’
as soon as i saw the prompt this week … i started singing
I’ve got to follow that dream wherever that dream may lead
I’ve got to follow that dream to find the love I need
As a teenager, I was a follower, I did things that if I had my time over, I probably wouldn’t do, but I wanted to be liked and loved, and following the ‘cool kids’ seemed to be the way i could achieve that.
At 16 i followed my heart and left home, again, something I probably wouldn’t do if I had my time over, but not something I regret, as it shaped the woman I was to become. Who knew that heart so young, didn’t really know what love was.
At 19 I followed my heart, and married the man who was to be my husband. My heart knew that this was the real thing, that this was a love that would last, and it has, not without it’s ups and downs (many downs), but I always knew my heart knew this was the path I was to follow.
Somewhere in my 30’s, I discovered myself and stopped following others, I discovered I had views of my own, that I had a mind of my own and that I did not need to follow and be one of the pack. These views and beliefs have challenged many others, but I’ve stood by them, and have had people follow ME and my beliefs.
And here I am in my 40’s, still not a follower … still sticking to my beliefs and standing up for those without a voice …. but … still following my heart to be with the man i love 25 years later ….
T
bulldog caramel chicken
anniversary throwrug
wart garage bangles
vase picture video wrapper frog
do you know
understand me
words mean nothing
language is an important thing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I coordinate a language team, 6 different cultures, 9 workers.
I am learning a few words, I am learning what it is like to leave your home because of war, because you dream of a better life, because you have no choice, and end up in a world where people are speaking a way you don’t understand.
I am learning what it is like to be differernt, to be treated so badly because you can’t express yourself clearly, to be attacked because of your race, to have people assume because you are from a certain race you have certain characteristics, certain stereotypes.
I am learning, that language is no barrier if you really want to help, that your actions speak any language
I love my job
Sunday Scribblings – CELEBRATE
Today I don’t feel like celebrating – today is a sad day for me
I saw my daughter off at the airport as she heads back to her life in London. I miss her so much when she is gone – but in the same breath – I know how important this is for her – and how much fun she is having – AND – she will eventually be back !!!
Comforted
Energised
Loved
Emotional
Baby girl ……….
Relocating
Amazing
Tentative
Excited
I love you baby girl
XOXOXOXOX
how appropriate that this weeks topic is Aging in two days I turn 45
for some reason, this birthday is freaking me out a little
I’m FORTY FIVE
to me
that means I am halfway through my life
most of the women in my family have lived till 90
so I’m halfway there
that scares me
there are so many more things I’d like to do before I leave this earth
as my husband kindly reminded me
I may not even live to 90
so it could be worse than I’m even thinking
A few weeks ago
I wrote a list of fifty things I’d like to do before I am fifty
I want to do them all
and more
much more
much much more
my fear is that I am procrastinating on the small stuff too much
I need to make a commitment to the things that are important to me
and work on those things
things won’t happen by themselves
I need to take control of my life
I need to stop being scared
I need to just DO IT.
happy birthday to me – the 45 year old
For Sunday SCribblings this week
Dear Kathryn,
Do you remember your school days? I know you don’ t very well, because you’ve told me how you were too busy being worried about what other people thought, how big you were (geez to be that size again !!), and how ‘not popular’ you were. You worried so much about these things – that you missed some of the best years of your life, you could have had friends that would still be with you today, you could have gone on and finished senior high and maybe made different choices (not that the choices you made later were bad ones – just may have been different options back). I wish you could have seen it back then.
And then of course you left home at 16 and decided to ‘play house’. Whatever were you thinking ? just because your mum and dad split up, it didn’t mean they didn’t want you around, and you know that and I guess just used it as an excuse in some ways. Your innocence was lost way to early, and again, things may have been different. (I reiterate here that things now are great – and there are no regrets – but sometimes there is the ‘what if ….’ factor)
I’d also like to remind you about not getting too close to people you work with, stay as colleagues and keep it separate from your friends, you’ve already seen what can happen here and how it turned your life around. So be careful and don’t let anyone hurt you like that again.
Other than that – you’ve done pretty well …
Keep it up
Love ~Kathryn~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Kathryn
you look great having lost that 20 kilos, i nearly didn’t recognise you, and more than that, you look so fit and healthy, must be so good on your heart.
I love the new house too, I know it’s smaller than what you have, but you can upkeep it so much easier now I bet … and less clutter … so awesome.
I heard that you went to America for a year, that must have been great to have that goal come true. And I saw you on that game show … you were so funny. Did you enjoy your visit to England to see your daughter, I bet she was thrilled to have you there.
I believe you danced at the festival at Tamworth, I know that one has been on your goals list for a while, I hear it went really well and you looked like you’d been doing it for years.
Well, you keep on enjoying life, sounds like things are going good.
Just stick to your goals … and keep believing that they will come true and nothing will stop you
take care
~Kathryn~
PS – I LOVE YOU
hey ……. You …….. YES YOU !!
Listen up … because this is important
I want you always to remember these things
ok .. you can go now
from Sunday Scribblings this week
Somewhere …. she didn’t know where …. there was a quietness
A quietness that overtook her soul
She didn’t know how it happened, life was just life, the same day after day and then before she knew it the silence began, she began to question everything that happened, what was she here for, what was her purpose in life, was there more to life than this?
She tried to experience more, she tried new things,she changed her job, but stil the questions remained … was there more to life than this?
When she sat to think, the quietness was overwhelming. It scared her …. she felt so lost
Words Words Words 